The Gift of Perspective

Here’s a little background. My 83 year-old dad recently fell and fractured his pelvis. He was hospitalized and I was charged with finding him a nursing home for rehabilitation. Granted, it wasn’t a nursing home for the rest of his life, but still, he needed to go to a nursing home. 

So, I spent a recent Friday visiting nursing homes, trying to pick the “best one” for my dad. Driving home late that evening, I had every right to brood about my painful day. But when I rolled down the window of my SUV and breathed in the sweet aroma of orange blossoms (yes, it is spring here in Arizona), I knew I had a decision to make. I could feel depressed about my day, or I could choose to be thankful for some really positive moments. I chose to be thankful. Here’s what occurred to me on that drive home:

1)  I was given a choice. The hospital handed me a list of no less than 40 nursing homes that I could choose for my dad. Of course, I couldn’t possibly visit them all in one day…but the decision would be mine, not somebody else’s. People may criticize this country of ours (it has its faults), but having a say in where your loved ones are cared for is a HUGE privilege. 

2)  People were nice. At each and every facility I visited, I was greeted warmly with a smile. Someone stopped whatever they were doing and toured me around, answering my questions. People asked concerned questions about my dad. They acknowledged my 4-year-old daughter and chatted with her. When I was leaving, each person I met that day shook my hand and offered me their sincere best wishes that I find the “right” place for my dad. 

3)  I put a lot of miles on my SUV that day, driving all over the city. I’ve been complaining to my husband lately about only having one car and that it’s been hard juggling everyone’s activities with just one vehicle. Well on that Friday, I waited at a red light next to a man in a very old, worn car. His engine stalled at the light and he frantically tried to restart it before the light turned green. Not once that day did I worry for a moment that my vehicle would stall or malfunction. It carried my daughter and me all over the city comfortably and safely. 

4)  My 4 year-old daughter’s preschool was closed that day so she accompanied me on my search. Have you ever taken a child to a nursing home? There is something special about people at opposite ends of the age spectrum. They attract each other like magnets. My sweet daughter made such an impact on the elderly. Two special moments stood out for me. 

As a special reward for being so patient and well behaved, I treated my little one to a kid’s meal at Wendy’s for lunch (a rarity for us!). I remembered how nice it is to spend time with her, just the two of us. She opted to sit next to me instead of across the table so we could snuggle up and share ketchup. She chatted non-stop about her school, her friends, her life. 

Yes, honey. I do believe it was.