Happy Boobs

Hi all! 

Let me take a second to introduce myself. I’m Annie. A few of you may know me from my blog, Cookies, Chaos, and Conversation.  I recently “retired” from blogging, but like most retirees I have tinkered after my party and here I am, with my new “hobby” to keep me busy! If you want to get to know me a little better, go check out some of my old stuff!

I turned the big 3-5 this October. When you turn 16, you get a license. When you turn 21 you get drunk legally. When you turn 30, you have a party.  And when you turn 35 you get…………a mammogram! 

So last week my 1st scheduled baseline mammogram took place. I did all the silly prep things I felt were needed, I shaved my pits, I donned my best bra, and I attempted to robe myself in the best jeans where no undergarments or overage would be spilling over. You know, in case I needed to be partially naked. I didn’t know if I would be totally-robed, half-robed, or they would make me walk around stark naked. I’m pretty sure there was an Oprah about what to expect during a mammo once but I missed it! So, unknowingly, I prepared myself for all of the above!

They were fast. They didn’t let me think about why I was there or what they were about to do…….they had me in a changing room 15 minutes before I was even supposed to be there. Imagine my surprise when they handed me, not a typical hospital robe, but donned me with this:

That’s right. It’s a CAPE! Who knew?!?!? Of course, I immediately thought about blogging and just knew I needed to whip out the camera phone and take some shots of this new-to-me cover-up.

Before I could spin around again, in my super hero mammo way, my nurse knocked on the door and ruined all my photo shoot fun!

I went in, cape and jeans ( very stylin’) and had to remove the cape. The radiologist lifted my breast and compressed it once in both directions. When she was on her third move she told me, “Don’t worry, you have nice fatty breast tissue so your pictures should be easy to read.”

Screech………did she just tell me that my breasts were fatty? I don’t even have muffin top today, lady, lay off the fat comments! I mean, seriously, aren’t all 5’4 people with 36D’s just CURVY???

I took 2 more fatty boob shots and was excused from the room. 

My results were delivered within 5 minutes.

And the news?

My FAT IS PHAT!  It all looked good so I got the all clear to head out.

Ladies, if you haven’t done your mammo yet, don’t listen to the people who tell you how awful it is! You get to wear a cape, get some gentle lifting and mild squishing…..and lots of peace of mind.

Signing off for now,

Fatty Boob Girl
AKA Annie

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