This old dog.

Since this was my first return to public school in almost 20 years, I wasn’t sure what to expect, as far as the actual “teaching/learning” part.

Turns out, kindergarten is a little more advanced these days. Right now they’re studying keyboarding in computer class and beginners geometry during math.

“Look Mama! That pipe is a cylinder!”

I think my head exploded.

That got me thinking about all the things that have changed, you know, fact-wise, since I graduated waaaaay by in ’89.

Here’s just a small sampling of topics I cannot wait for Oldest to teach me:

1) When did they confirm that is was actually a meteor that caused dinosaur extinction? When I was in school, we were told there was an “Ice Age” – no one really knew why it got cold, it just got cold. The dinosaurs died. Now my son has anxiety over what would happen if a meteor strayed into Earth’s path today. Extrapolate much? Is 6 too young to watch “Armageddon?”

2) When did indigo get dropped from the visible spectrum? I posted a while back about ROY G BIV, and someone told me that they don’t teach that any longer. Turns out, indigo is no longer considered part of the rainbow. Say what? What did he do to get bounced from the party? Has anyone broken the news to him yet?

3) Which brings me to poor Pluto. So “My very educated mother just served us nine pizzas” is out, and “My very educated mother just served us nothing” is in? Did you know that “being Plutoed” is an actual term? (thanks Mom 2 2 boys And it’s not very nice. Poor Pluto. No respect. I can so relate.

4) Is “y” considered a vowel or not? May we get a definitive answer on this, please? Oldest was doing homework the other night, and he was asked to circle all the vowels. There was a word that ended in “y.” I told him to circle it. He looked at me like I was the village idiot. “A, E, I, O and U, Mama.” I could hear the silent “dumb ass!” hanging in the air. Hey teach, may I get a head’s up next time an English rule gets Plutoed – thanks.

5) What countries make up the world these days? In my era, if you could correctly mark Canada, U.S.A., Antarctica, Australia and U.S.S.R. on the geography exam, you were half way to an A+. Eastern Europe is a whole New World to me. I can’t wait to figure it all out. There are still only seven continents though, right?

Long division, the Periodic Table, world history after W.W. II (according to my history books, the Korean War and Vietnam was just a blip, then on to Reagan’s assassination attempt. That’s it.)

I hear you may now end a sentence with a preposition?

What’s the world coming to?!

I honestly don’t know, but I can’t wait to find out.