Giving in…….

Here at MWOB, we’re always a week late and a dollar short, but that’s the way we rollllllllllllllllll over here and we are cool widdit.   

The parenting community has been a-buzzin’ with all kinds of fascinating chitter-chat, articles, blog posts and the like about a new trend in mommy-ville where being a “bad” mother is now actually a “good” thing.  

All kinds of angles are being tossed about (check out this, and this, and this for starters) and the conversation is developing to be quite a compelling one because from my perspective, well, I’m living it.  I’m living smack-dab in the middle of the modern-day “good mother/bad mother” battle and I think any conversation that gets me out of my head and my routine of pure day-to-day survival is a good thing.  

So this week I’ve asked the women of MWOB to write from their perspective on the issue. I hope you’re inspired to add to the conversation.

Written by Annie

Do you feel it? I mean, do you really feel it? Or are you able to just let it go? 

I’m talking about pressure. THE pressure. Pressure to be a good Mom. It is very easy to give in to the pressure, to change the way you do things or question how you parent or even how you are as a parent if you succumb to it.

I feel it. I live in the burbs. The burbs where over half of the moms stay home, drive SUV’s and mini-vans, have perfectly bobbed hair and 3.2 kids. They work out, without sweating, and keep Mommy calling cards in their purse. I choose to have a bob and an SUV, but I try to do my own thing. Me and my 2.0 kids, that is.

I’m going back to work in August. When I told my neighbors some of them asked if my husband’s job was in jeopardy. It isn’t. No one could understand why I would WANT to go back to work, to get in the groove, to earn some money and exercise my mind in a different way. 

I’m just not that mom…….that mom who ROCKS at being at home. Who juggles it all and does it well. I’m thankful for the time off and on over the years I have stayed home. I’ve reveled in the moments I got to capture with my girls I may have not gotten to otherwise. But the day in day out of being home has always been a challenge to me. I don’t do it without flaws or headaches…and I don’t really care! 

I own it. It’s a mixed bag for me. 

So the pressure to wait out my youngest heading to full-day kindergarten in a year is not even felt by me. I’m doing what is best for my family. You see, she and I, we are not the homebodies, so we are both ecstatic to be going to “school” full-time next year. And what will I be doing that had my neighbors so perplexed? Teaching. Yes, I’m a teacher.

Why do they feel like I’m maybe not doing the right thing? I’m not sure. I think once a “trend” starts, its harder to
not join in than it is to join in. Staying home with your kids in my area is what is expected, at least until they start full day school. And even then, many of them will still stay home. Kudos to them. I’d be 400 pounds and have one of every item Target offers if I did. I just don’t think they understand why I CHOOSE to leave my kids when I don’t have to. But I’m used to that age old debate.

So, I feel it. I feel it when I choose what activities my kids will be in (the ones they want, not me) and where we will vacation, and what PTA committees I should join. But I feel it roll off my back even more. And I try not to put it out there. 

I say if you do what is best for your family and for yourself, who cares if you don’t bake the cookies?

Class is dismissed,

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