A Good Daddy

Written by Lee

I’ll never forget the night of our very first date. I was 22-years-old and the world was big and mine. I arrived with my friend to his Hollywood apartment. We were going on a casual group date to see Blues Traveler play at The Palace in Hollywood. He was hanging at home with my friend’s boyfriend and a few others who would cruise on over with us to the show.

I was nervous.

He was cool. He was gorgeous. He was sexy.

And he didn’t even know any of those things about himself which made him all the more all of those things. My friend and I had just come from my apartment in Brentwood where we had chosen the appropriate early 90’s clothes to wear for a festive night in Hollywood at The Palace seeing Blues Traveler. I guess it was a mixture of hippie and denim if I remember it right. Black leggings, some kind of undershirt, a long denim overshirt, some hippie necklaces. My hair was still in the permed category – long blonde curls.

We knocked on his door but he wasn’t the one who opened it. Some other dude did. As soon as the door swung open, I saw him. He stood in his living room in the midst of a small group of friends in a mellow loose button-down shirt, a pair of jeans, and longish blonde hair that hung mellowly at his shoulders. He looked a tad thinner than I had remembered but there was no denying it. This guy made my heart skip a beat. He had one foot propped up on the coffee table and over his shoulder was draped a shiny black cat. When he saw me, he smiled a sweet hello and all the while, he gently pet his cat with such tenderness that the image is seared into my memory. And I am not known to have a good memory. At. All.

In that instant, I thought to myself, “Wow, this guy is gonna be one amazing daddy someday.”

The journey from that fateful moment is filled with twists and turns and adventures and passion and freedom and youth and spontaneaity and music and reckless abandon and fear and faith and youth and growing up and doubt and decision….and it all ended in a lifelong commitment that I am certain will be just that. Life. Long. And even beyond.

I never quite understood how love could create new life but our love showed me the way. And from the moment we walked hand-in-hand to witness the results of our first home pregnancy test and that little line hit us between our hearts like a ton of bricks and fear shot through me like a bolt of lightning, I knew the only way I could survive becoming a mother was if he were by my side. And thank God he was. And thank God he is.

His strength is quiet but there is no denying that he is my rock. Gently holding me in place as I waver and slowly pulling me to safety when I have wandered away too far. His love for our children is humbling to me. His patience and tenderness is beyond what I could ever ever give to them.

He looked me square in the eyes as I pushed and pushed to birth our firstborn after hours and hours of excrutiating labor – with my feet on each of his shoulders – and he calmly, with love and conviction, encouraged me to keep going. As we welcomed one, then two, then three souls into the world, I was reminded again and again and again that although I do not generally believe in soulmates, I had found mine.

This tender soul of a man knows no boundaries when it comes to his children. There is nothing he can not do when it comes to caring for our kids. His affection and focus and loyalty is rare. His identity does not come from work or friends or hobbies. He is a daddy first and foremost. He is most fulfilled hanging on the sofa with three giggling creatures climbing all over him in one big entangled mess of love.

Our children are so incredibly blessed to have him in their lives. Their love and their hearts and their souls will feel a safety and security and strength and centeredness and belonging because he is theirs.

He is their daddy. And I’m telling you, he is good.

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