The hunted becomes the hunter…

Written by Sass

“I swear, a butt like that could get a man fired.”

I was walking toward the high school girls’ locker room when I heard that statement. It was the high school shop teacher, standing behind me as I walked away. I turned, looked at him, blushed a thousand shades of red and went into the locker room. Was I creeped out? Maybe. I’d have rather heard it from the band director, but I digress. I was also flattered. It made me realize…I’ve got power.

In high school we had such a small track team my senior year that the coach was in charge of both boys and girls. We just practiced together. I can remember running in front of groups of boys, hearing them say to one another, “That’ll keep you going…just keep your eyes on that.”

In college, I ran track at a large university nationally known for its’ party atmosphere. My favorite part was the attention from the football players in the weight room after running. I never had to try, just had to sit patiently…and wait.

Now I’ve entered the next phase of my life. I like to call it the next “third” of my life. I almost feel like I’m having a “third-life crisis.” I don’t weigh 125 pounds anymore. I can’t go out and run a few miles in a sports bra, just to see who drives by and honks. I don’t put on a bikini and go to the pool so the guys will stare. If I did, they’d stare, all right. They’d stare as the cops handcuffed me and took me away for indecent exposure.

I spent the first part of my life being, “hunted.” I spent it getting attention from the good boys, the bad boys, the single men, the married men,and all men in between. Even at my wedding, aforementioned track coach came and danced with me. And he said, “If I were 20 years younger, Sass…you wouldn’t be marrying him.”

Now, though, I am finding a…shift…occurring.

I’m no longer being hunted. I’m becoming that dirty old woman at the pool. On the boat…at the water park…at the grocery store. I’m becoming a hunter.

There’s a new lifeguard at the pool. I find myself sitting there staring at him, his 24 year old (yes, I do know that for a fact) muscular body perfectly toned and tanned. How DO they wear their swim trunks that low on their hips? I just know I’m thankful for my dark sunglasses…

There was a guy standing on the dock at the marina last night. He had a big tattoo across his back, six pack abs, and a perfect tan. I sunk down in the boat seat and stared. Knowing I wasn’t being noticed…

We pulled the boat into the dock at the club where we belong. There were people standing around. I bent over to get the bag of sunscreen to take up to the pool with us, and I heard it. I heard an approving sigh. I heard what almost sounded like…”Mmmm, nice…” as I bent over in my bathing suit. I turned around, but no one was standing on the dock. My husband was fiddling with the ropes, but no one else was there. I must have imagined it.

I walked up to the pool, sat down on a chair, and started rubbing sunscreen on my chest. I swear, somewhere, I heard…”Oooh, yes…” But I looked around, and saw no one there. My kids were already off swimming, my husband reading a book next to me. I was now fantasizing about people wanting me???

I asked my husband to go get me a beer from the Tiki Hut, and I settled back down into my chair, reading a book and looking around. I glanced to my right, and I saw him. I saw the most perfect man. Funny…he’s not perfectly toned. He’s got a bit of a farmer’s tan. Is that a little gray in his hair? I put the book a little higher in front of my face, so I could gawk unnoticed.

What’s that? Crap. He saw me. He noticed me looking. I’m so busted. It’s okay…he smiled. I’ll just go back to reading, no harm done. It’s not like I cheated or anything. I just…looked.

“Do you have any idea how much trouble that low cut bathing suit top could get you in?” I heard a man ask. Even though it was the same voice I’d heard when I was putting on my sunscreen, I figured he wasn’t talking to me, so I ignored him. “How about you pull it down just a little bit lower…give me a little bit of a show?”

I glanced up at this point, and saw the guy I was checking out standing above me, staring at me with a sexy little grin on his face. I had totally just been busted, and now he decides to approach me. What are people going to think? “I’m not sure that’d be appropriate right now…but maybe later, if no one was watching.”

What was I DOING??? Flirting with this man?!?!?

After I said it, I felt myself blush. And as I looked at him, and he looked around, I think he blushed too.

“Maybe later, huh? I think I could go for that…” My heart started to race. I was thinking of everything I wanted to say. I wanted to say, “meet me behind the bar. Hurry up, no one will even notice we’re gone. Meet me downstairs in the women’s locker room, no one ever goes in there.”


I looked at my prey…the hunter sizing up the situation, wanting to pounce…and I said, “Thanks for the beer, sweetie. I love it when they put the lime in it. Did we get enough sunscreen on the kids?”

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