Affiliate Friday: Heather of the EO on Being a Mama and Recreating the Dream

Happy Friday!

And it’s a happy one indeed…. I am super psyched to kick-off MWOB’s brand new feature called “Affiliate Friday” where we feature a blogger who is a devoted affiliate of Moms without Blogs and who supports our mission out here in the blogosphere. We’re a virtual community of kindred spirits and in an effort to actually get to know each other a little more, “Affiliate Friday” was born.

Today’s first affiliate voice comes from a woman and writer I simply adore. I totally remember when I first read her a few months after I started blogging and I thought “Wow, how come it took me this long to find her?” There is beauty in her writing, and the heart that is always interwoven in her words resonate so deeply within me that when I met her in July at BlogHer ’09, I felt like she was an old friend the moment I first met her.

She’s the real deal.

Which is all that really matters to me. Being real. I hope if you don’t already read her, you will start doing so right after you read her today.

And so here’s Heather of The Extraordinary Ordinary – aka Heather of the EO.

The Foundation of a Dream
by Heather of the EO

I’m starting to think there can be more of an ease to my life, coming from a place of contentment. I’ve never been that good at content, but I’m learning there’s an acceptance and perspective that can free my mind of a whole lot of clutter that weighs me down.

This is probably something more seasoned Mamas have known a long time. I’m a bit of a slow learner, so bear with me.

I’m starting to realize that maybe nothing I once thought I needed has to happen in order for me to be content. I’m letting the truth fall fresh on my ears. You are a mother. It’s enough. It’s huge. It’s everything you think you want and more.

I do love being a mother, more than I ever imagined I would. I’ve been thinking I should let myself really fall into it, to allow myself to change in the biggest way…learning to fully find joy in the selflessness of motherhood. There is joy there. Moving slowly from habits that are focused on serving myself to habits that are more focused on others is a beautiful thing. It took motherhood to start that movement in my life.

There’s been a part of me that’s been hesitating, trying to grasp at other things, other freedoms, thinking about what I want out of life and worrying that I might be letting something amazing pass me by…writing, traveling, changing lives, making a difference, maybe even famously! I’ve been trying to figure out how I can do the mom gig and so much more at the same time.

But ever so slowly, a change has been happening in me. As I’ve taken tiny steps at adjusting to motherhood, I’ve learned that it’s not just a season to weather. It’s not just something that covers my path for a time and then clears away and frees me to get back to me.

Motherhood is me. I’m Mom. I don’t have to run from that, terrified that I might lose myself. I have been found here. And if other beautiful things fall in my path as I travel this road, that’s just icing on the cake. I won’t stop allowing other things to fill our lives, but I don’t want to be so desperate to make sure I’m not ordinary.

I’m on a journey that has turned me upside-down and inside out. Having babies didn’t mean I created a cookie-cutter existence for myself, one that looks the same as all the other families on my street, in my neighborhood, or in our city. We have our own story here, and it holds all the joy and excitement I’ve been looking for. I knew this, but I didn’t really know this, not to the very core of who I am. I was secretly harboring a strange tension, a fight to continue to focus more on myself and anything I might be missing.

Because on this motherhood path I will travel and write, I will change lives and I will make a difference.

If I don’t truly see motherhood for what it is, I have lost the chance to show up for my own life.


Notes on Heather:

The above post is one from her archives that I simply adore because wow. Those are my thoughts written way more eloquently than I could ever even think them. After much back and forth about a topic for her guest appearance, these were the words that found their way here today.

And here is a picture taken probably one hour after we met on the first night at BlogHer in July. Just so you can put a happy face with those beautiful words.

Deb, Lee, and Heather

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