Mama’s Got A New 4-Letter Word

So who was the wise guy who had the bright friggin’ idea that almost 3-year-old little boys are supposed to uh, share?

I kinda wanna pummel that person with a wiffle bat or a Thomas train or a toy dump truck.

Yeah.

Have you ever been at a park with a little boy who happens to be your son who is happily playing and some other kid comes up to your kid and wants to suddenly play with whatever your kid is playing with and your kid is all, “HELL NO!” and then the other little kid is all “HELL YES!” and then the caretaker of the other little kid, who may or may not be the mother of that kid, starts chiming in with “Oh just wait Johnny, let the little boy finish his turn and then maybe he can share his whatever he is playing with…” and then you’re all thinking to yourself “Why in the hell is my kid supposed to, all of a sudden, be having a turn with his own toy that he so desperately wanted to bring to the park while little Johnny waits nearby screaming and whining and just waiting for the chance to pounce on said toy the second that your kid looks away for a brief second at a seagull cruising by…”

…and then before you know it, you’re engaged in some awkward silent battle of care-taking and life-raising styles with some complete and utter stranger and you so wanna get the hell outta there but holy crap, it only took almost an hour to actually motivate out of the house on this beautiful day to get to the park so you don’t really wanna give in that easily to Johnny and his demanding caretaker’s sharing ways so you stick it out in the sandpit at the park just wondering if your kid will ever really decide that his turn is over, and then when your kid does glance away from the toy for longer than a few seconds, you do end up sliding it over to Johnny’s caretaker with a half-assed smile of “Yes, you see, we sure do believe in turns and sharing at our home because after all, we are good parents who do work hard to teach our kids the right thing and yes, of course, sharing is right” and then your kid looks back too quickly and notices the betrayal and starts throwing a full-on almost three-year-old tantrum in the sand, but holy shit, the said toy is already firmly in the grasp of crazed Johnny and his nodding, knowing, holier than thou caretaker who has no problem watching your kid throw a tantrum because his turn was over, and holy hell, now you totally remember why you bog so hard getting out of the house to get to the park because this sharing movement has gotten all insanely out of control….

So yeah … really.

Sharing is so damn overrated.

Don’t ya think?

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My dear friend, Ash, has an important post today that I thought I would share with you. Yeah, in this case, I’m all about sharing. Please check it out.

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8 Responses to “Mama’s Got A New 4-Letter Word”

  1. Jo says:

    Sharing IS overrated. So is hanging out with strangers at the park. 🙂

  2. This was hilarious, Lee.

    And yes, I agree. Seriously…you look like a horrible mother if your child even brings his own toys to play with these days.

  3. Ash says:

    I’m so laughing – because seriously, that crosses my mind ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME.

    So the organized, think-ahead mom is the piece of crap who doesn’t teach her child how to share? Try explaining to a mom why Youngest can’t share his baggie of low-pro pretzels or his last bag of fruit snacks.

    Glutton!

    Gotta new mantra for you Lee my dear – “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” My boys learned it at their preschool. I recite it, mostly to myself, on an hourly basis.

    (and thanks so much for the linky love – up to 338 signatures – the bloggyworld rocks.)

  4. Corinne says:

    I hate that silent battle!! So been there 🙂

  5. So, here you are! You’re right, you aren’t showing up in my dashboard.

    Lee, can I tell you how many times I’ve been in the same boat?!

    Oh, and that I dig you too 😉

  6. Jessica says:

    I’d have been like, “Well, it’s his toy, so back off fucker” okay maybe not exactly that, maybe more like, “sorry, here, take it”

  7. Jackie says:

    This made me laugh so hard. It’s so true!
    I am so totally confused by what is considered good playground etiquette.

  8. Catherine says:

    I can see if it were the other way around and the other parent were encouraging her own child to share his toys but I don’t see where people think they can implement sharing when it comes to children that are not their own.

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